Scanners

Have the ads gotten subtler since 1964?

Jim Emerson

Still the same game in attack ads: associate the candidate with negative images (in this case, it’s the smoking gun that could come in the form of a mushroom cloud — wait, that wasn’t all that long ago!). Word-association, no matter how meaningless, still works. As the SNL Palin rap phrased it: “When I say Obama, you say Ayers! Obama! Ayers! Obama! Ayers!” Or, if you’re Joseph McCarthy Michele Bachmann: “Obama! Anti-American! Congress! Anti-American! Investigation! Anti-American! I never said Anti-American!” (See how that works?)

Full disclosure: The anti-Goldwater ad above, perhaps the most scandalous political ad in American TV history (sorry, “Willie Horton”!) actually ran only once. More about it here.

The Apatow schlub: Too ugly for the girl?

Jim Emerson

View image Mila Kunis and Jason Segel in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.”

“Forgetting Sarah Marshall,” starring and written by Jason Segel (“Freaks and Geeks,” “Undelcared,” “Knocked Up”) opens April 18. Last month, after an early screening, Jeffrey Wells at Hollwyood Elsewhere revealed that the idea of “marginally unattractive guys — witty stoners, clever fatties, doughy-bodied dorks, thoughtful-sensitive dweebs and bearish oversize guys in their 20s and 30s” playing “romantic leads” just doesn’t wash with him (“Eclipse of the Hunk?”).

“Question is, what if this starts to manifest in realms outside Apatow World?” he frets. God forbid. Upon seeing Segel’s upper torso at the beginning of “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” (this is before all the rest of him is bared to the world in a painfully funny break-up scene), Wells says:

I immediately went, “Oh, sh-t…I’m stuck with this dude for the whole film.” Segel is an obviously bright guy with moderately appealing features, but he also has a chunky, blemished ass and little white man-boobs, and he could definitely use a little treadmill and stairmaster time and a serious cutback program regarding pasta, Frito scoop chips, Ben & Jerry’s and Fatburger takeout. I don’t relate to this sh-t at all, I was muttering to myself.

Support Your Local Revolution

Jim Emerson

If you can’t be out in the streets of Iran’s cities with the protesters, this would be a good time to (re-)watch “Persepolis,” Marjane Satrapi’s animated memories of growing up under the Shah and the 1979 Iranian Revolution. (BTW, Satrapi herself has reportedly denounced the recent election results as fraud.)

Flowers from a gigolo

Jim Emerson

Rob Schneider (right) in “Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo.”

A note from Roger Ebert:

A beautiful bouquet of flowers was delivered to the house the other day. A handwritten note paid compliments to my work and wished me a speedy recovery.

Who was it from? A friend? A colleague? An old classmate? The card was signed, “Your Least Favorite Movie Star, Rob Schneider.”

Saints preserve us.

It will help to establish a context if I mention that my review of Schneider’s latest film, “Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo,” contained three words which provided me with the title of my new book: “Your Movie Sucks.”

Continue reading at RogerEbert.com…

One shot: The Old Spice Manmercial

Jim Emerson

Look up at this commercial. Look down at the interview about how they made it. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. And if you’re really going to put that message across, you have to respect the integrity of the frame-space. This hilarious bit is accomplished in one shot (requiring three days and quite a few takes), with only one obvious use of CGI (the appearance of the product itself) and one invisible use (erasing a piece of equipment from the shot at the end).

Buster Keaton would approve — though he probably would have found a way to do everything in-camera.

How They Did It:

Brüno: “It’s like Transformers but not as gay”

Jim Emerson

“The word ‘gay’ [alternate spelling: ‘ghey’], in addition to being used to mean ‘homosexual’ or ‘carefree’, was often now used to mean ‘lame’ or ‘rubbish’. This is a widespread current usage of the word amongst young people… The [pejorative use of the] word ‘gay’ … need not be offensive… or homophobic […]”

— BBC Board of Governors

gay (adj.):

1. Happy.

2. Homosexual.

3. A generic insult.

1. You are gay.

2. You are gay.

3. You are gay.

— Urban Dictionary, definition #2

gay (adj.):

The word that appears as a tag of just about every other definition at Urban Dictionary.

— Urban Dictionary, definition #36

They no like Borat

Jim Emerson

View image: Borat in New York, a town locate on the eastern coast of United States and America.

In their reviews of “Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan” Anthony Lane of The New Yorker and Armond White of the New York Press make it clear they are not amused. Mostly because they think the movie is about something I woudn’t think was funny, either, if I thought that’s what the movie was about.

To Lane, Sacha Baron Cohen is a guy who “adopts fictional personae and then marches briskly into the real world with a mission to embarrass its inhabitants.” That may be “Punk’d” (or “Candid Camera”) but that’s the least of what’s going on in “Borat,” which presents these improvisations in a fictional narrative context that give them meaning (and, consequently, humor). To White, “Borat” is “anti-American propaganda,” that “primarily consists of genital humor, scatological humor and jokes about deformity and mental retardation” — while any praise of the film is “a bit seditious” and amounts to “evil criticism.” OK, that movie doesn’t sound funny to me, either. But that movie is nine shots of Armond White with just a splash of Borat Sagdiyev.

Lane is baffled by “Borat.” White goes off on a comically crude and incoherent rant against Madonna, Andy Kaufman, Neil LaBute, Madonna (again), 9/11, George W. Bush, Michael Moore, Emir Kusturica, the “angry Left’s vicious temerity” and the “self-loathing” of “Borat’s ass-kissing film critics.” Yes, in White’s six-paragraph review he spews more bilious imagery — “pits,” “sewer gas,” “flatulent,” “odious,” “evil,” “stench,” “Ethnic-Cleansing” — than the feature film he’s accusing of low blows. (And for some people, inexplicably, everything will always be about Madonna.)

The median-est of all movie lists of the decade

Jim Emerson

You’re going to be seeing a sufficient number of lists between now and the end of 2009 — on that you can rely — but the most middling of all movie lists has at last been composed by filmmaker David Wain (“Role Models,” “Wet Hot American Summer”):

“David Wain’s Middle Ten Neither Best Nor Worst Movies of the Decade.”

“Obviously,” he writes in an explanatory foreword, “there were A LOT of great contenders over the last decade. But only 10 can be in the middle, so here are my picks…” When mediocrity is the chief criterion, questions arise: Are these really the most moderate accomplishments of the ’00s? How strongly do you feel about that? Is today Tuesday? And now, as @davidwain tweeted: “Let the discussions begin!”

(Full list after jump…)

The Perfect Storm

Jim Emerson

View image A festive Casa Emerson just before the storm…

UPDATE: Um, OK, where were we? Within hours of retrieving my PowerBook from its brain-transplant surgery (the new brain/HD is blank, or mostly blank: It did say “Abby Normal” on the side, though…), the Storm of the Century swept through the Pacific Northwest and took away power, Internet access, phone service, etc., at my address until late Friday afternoon. Thousands of people in Seattle haven’t had power since last Thursday night. I feel extremely fortunate that there was minimal damage in my neighborhood (plenty of horizontal trees, though) and all my lifelines — including Comcast On Demand — were restored so fast. (My storm experience is nothing compared to Girish’s during the Buffalo Blizzard in October, though.). So, back to it….

View image Tree takes some down time — on Dave’s balcony, at far right. (photo by Heidi Hansen.)

P.S. My friend Dave McCoy (Lead Editor of MSN Movies), who lives less than a mile away, got a bit of a surprise at his condo Thursday night. This tree landed on his deck, narrowly missing his bedroom window and thus averting a “Poltergeist” experience.

From the AP Newswire:

The region’s worst windstorm in more than a decade struck on Thursday, knocking out power to more than 1.5 million homes and businesses. Wind gusted to 113 mph during the storm near Mount Rainier and to a record 69 mph at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport.

About 200,000 customers were still without power in western Washington, utilities reported, as temperatures were in the low to mid 20s over most of the affected area early Monday. Authorities said it could be days before power is restored.

Washington Gov. Chris Gregoire declared a statewide disaster and the state National Guard was mobilized to help get fuel and supplies to hard-hit areas.

Ich bin ein Tweeter

Jim Emerson

Blame it on Roger Ebert. He Tweeted up (@ebertchicago) a coupla weeks ago and I have learned from his example that there’s more to Twitty-ositude than using a small keyboard to broadcast what you’re doing at any given moment. You see, in my daily Intertubular rounds (it’s part of my job), I come across all kinds of interesting — even fascinating — things that I never get around to writing about. Often because all I want to say is: “Take a look at this, why don’t ya?”

So, that’s what I will do. I will show you all the good stuff. And warn you about the bad stuff. I do not like the term “follow,” for I am neither a Pied Piper, a Fantastik, nor a Jesus Christ, but do pop over here and help me get started, won’t you? That’s jeeemerson. Thank you.

Above: The most flattering mug shot I could find. Almost used it for my passport.

Arial Narrow is a redneck bastard

Jim Emerson

Attention font fan(atic)s: Many thanks to Larry Adylette of Welcome to L.A. for passing along this video, Font Conference. I guess Helvetica is not represented because Ariel was created in order to avoid paying royalties for Helvetica. Microsoft Windows started using it in 1992, and Apple adopted it for Mac OS X in 2001. (Microsoft commissioned Verdana in 1996.)

The promotional poetry of the MPAA

Jim Emerson

A disturbing image of frenetic violence and menace — and some sensuality, if you’re into the whole Cronenbergian “Crash” thing.

You may not have noticed one of the most exciting blurbs appearing in ads for “Mission: Impossible III.” It reads: “Intense sequences of frenetic violence & menace, disturbing images & some sensuality!” (OK, I added the exclamation point.)

The reason you may not have seen this is because it appears in a little box in the lower left-hand corner of some print ads, and at the end of some TV ads and trailers, in a little box next to the code “PG-13.” Yes, “frenetic violence & menace,” “disturbing images” and “sensuality” — though they sound like something a critic or a marketing department might say — are words (superlatives?) employed by the Motion Picture Association of America (or, if you prefer, the Classification and Rating Administration, or CARA, a subdivision of the MPAA) to describe the reason for their PG-13 rating. Whew! Heady stuff, no?

Seventh inning stretch-marks?

Jim Emerson

Bobble this.

It’s a very special Tom Cruise Night when the California League Lake Elsinore Storm face the High Desert Mavericks this evening (Friday) at 7:05, PDT. The Los Angeles Times reports:

Besides giving away a Cruise bobblehead — make that a “bobble-couch,” depicting the star in full Oprah couch-jumping mode — the San Diego Padres’ Class-A affiliate will celebrate the “silent birth” of Tom and Katie Holmes’ baby, Suri, with a “silent inning,” during which no batters will be announced and no music played. “Silent birth,” a Church of Scientology teaching, specifies no music and no talking during the birth.

Other planned activities include a couch-jumping contest, a Scientology information and sign-up booth and a retrospective of Cruise’s movie career.

The Storm’s opponent? The High Desert Mavericks, of course. No doubt in honor of Cruise’s character in “Top Gun.”

Next week: The Adelanto Operating Thetans take on the Yucaipa Cocktails.

(tip: Defamer)

Oh, go ahead and jump

Jim Emerson

View image A world traveler for whom geography means nothing.

My review of “Jumpers,” the new movie from director Doug Liman (“Swingers,” “Go,” “The Bourne Supremacy,” “Mr. & Mrs. Smith”), is at RogerEbert.com. Here’s an excerpt:

In a world gone horribly wrong, where actions have no consequences, where all of humanity has become unaccountably oblivious to blatant violations of the time-space continuum, where rules exist not to be broken but to be disregarded, where continuity is irrelevant… anything is possible!

There you have the premise for Doug Liman’s “Jumper: The Prequel,” a movie so silly you may find yourself giggling helplessly even as you wish you could magically transport yourself almost anywhere else in the world but where you are, in front of the screen showing it.

And here’s an interesting take on the movie from an entirely different angle by James Hannaham at Salon, who wonders what kind of signals “Jumper” sends to the rest of the world about Americans:

In a twisted fashion, when films like “Jumper” go abroad, the outside world often responds in a counterintuitive way — and sometimes this can be devastating. I am not the first critic to suggest that the disaster films of the ’90s helped to inspire the terrorist plots of the early 21st century….

Bracing for a gala full of low-wattage drainage

Jim Emerson

I almost forgot, but I would like to thank the Writers Guild of America for the best Golden Globes ever. I didn’t watch the press conference, but I heard there were some awards and that maybe some people who could afford it had some parties somewhere, even at their own homes. Perfect!

I was reminded of this by an article in today’s New York Times about the Grammy Awards headlined “Music World Braces for a Low-Wattage Grammy Night.” This caught my attention because it seems odd that so much bracing would be necessary for so little wattage. High wattage, maybe. Considerable bracing might be in line if you were preparing to stick your wet fingers in a light socket. But low wattage? Like the little electrostatic shock you get when you pet a cat and then touch a doorknob? Not really worth a significant brace.

Anyway, the article says:

As the Writers Guild maintained on Monday that it was unlikely to grant a request from Grammy producers for an interim agreement that would allow writers and other unionized Hollywood personnel to take part in the show, talent managers, label executives and even record shops worried over prospects of a gala drained of major stars, particularly musicians who are also members of the Screen Actors Guild, which has lined up with the writers.

Lackluster turnout by the stars, executives say, could embarrass the industry and waste a much-needed opportunity to publicize artists and gin up sales. (Even if there’s an agreement, one much-nominated star, the British soul singer Amy Winehouse, might not appear because of visa troubles.)

First, I liked how they worked that Amy Winehouse parenthetical in there, but I wish they’d mentioned some other stars who might not be there because, say, they’re in rehab or jail or under house arrest. Or just too high to call a cab.

I also really like the phrase “a gala drained of major stars,” which I hope can be reused many times in the coming weeks. Especially if my fellow writers consider my proposal: Instead of negotiating with the Grammys (Grammies?) and the Oscars about strike exemption agreements, how about — even once the whole digital media residuals thing is settled — agreeing to a different kind of exemption, like not writing for any awards shows? Just try it and see what it’s like. It might even restore some small lustre, or at least lend an illusion of integrity, to the honors themselves.

Also this week: The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences “Phase I committee” announced its “shortlist” for the 2007 Foreign Language Film category. Among the 63 films under consideration, “4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days” and “Persepolis,” despite the international acclaim they’ve received in Cannes and elsewhere, were not among the “top nine” picked for a possible Oscar nomination.

Perhaps the members of the Academy’s elite selection committee were really trying to focus attention on other, lesser-known films that had not already received awards recognition or publicity.

That must be it.

Oh dear, who’s killed film criticism this week?

Jim Emerson

“Movie criticism of the elevated sort, as practiced over the past half-century by James Agee and Manny Farber, Andrew Sarris and Pauline Kael, J. Hoberman and Dave Kehr… is an endangered species…”

— Richard Corliss, Film Comment, 1990

Good gracious, film criticism is still dying all over the Internet again this week. Who’s killing it this time? The usual suspects, depending on who you ask, ranging from “Siskel & Ebert” to “the bloggers.” The quotation above was written 20 years ago, and that wasn’t the first time its dire predictions were made. Now they’ve just become conventional wisdom, so people feel the need to repeat them every few hours. IFC.com reports that, at a UCLA panel discussion of filmmakers and critics following a screening of Gerald Peary’s affectionate documentary overview of American film criticism, “For the Love of Movies,” TIME magazine curmudgeon Richard Schickel announced, to no one’s surprise, that he never loved them. That’s right: No love from Mr. Schickel. None. (This is confirmed by his attitude toward Robert Altman.)

“Watching all these kind of earnest people discussing the art or whatever the hell it is of criticism, all that, it just made me so sad. You mean they have nothing else to do?” asked Schickel before adding, “I don’t know honestly the function of reviewing anything.”

Yes he certainly doesn’t, which has been clear in print for some years, but I don’t know the function of what Schickel was doing on this panel. You could make the same complaint about any kind of writing, or any enthusiasm that people feel like writing and talking about, from sports to politics. Oh, you tech columnists and food writers — stop communicating with others about things you’re interested in! What is the point? If you have to ask, you’re not likely to feel ardent about engaging in the practice — except, perhaps, for the paycheck. Now that is sad.