Lucy in the Sky
There’s a point at which this joke stops being funny and turns sad, and it’s very early in its over two hours runtime.
This Website is owned and operated by Ebert Digital LLC (“Company”) (“we” and “us”). In addition to the Content on the Website, the Website provides you with various opportunities to submit content and purchase goods or services (“Services”). BY USING OUR WEBSITE AND THE SERVICES YOU ARE ACCEPTING THE PRACTICES DESCRIBED IN THESE TERMS AND CONDITIONS (“Agreement”). IF YOU DO NOT AGREE TO THIS AGREEMENT, PLEASE DO NOT USE THE WEBSITE AND EXIT IMMEDIATELY. WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO MODIFY OR AMEND THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS (“Terms”) OF THIS AGREEMENT FROM TIME TO TIME WITHOUT NOTICE. WE WILL POST CHANGES ON THIS WEBSITE. PLEASE CHECK BACK PERIODICALLY FOR ANY SUCH CHANGES. YOUR CONTINUED USE OF OUR WEBSITE FOLLOWING THE POSTING OF CHANGES TO THIS AGREEMENT WILL MEAN YOU ACCEPT THOSE CHANGES.
These Terms were last updated on May 28, 2013.
All of the content featured or displayed on the Website, including without limitation articles, reviews, text, graphics, photographs, images, artwork, digital video and audio clips, moving images, sound, and illustrations (“Content”), is owned by Company, its affiliates, partners, vendors or licensors and/or its Content providers. All elements of the Website, including without limitation the general design and the Content, are protected by trade dress, copyright, moral rights, trademark and publicity rights other laws relating to intellectual property rights. You may use the Content online only, and solely for your personal, non-commercial use, and you may download or print a single copy of any portion of the Content solely for your personal, non-commercial use, provided you do not remove any trademark, copyright or other notice from such Content. No other use is permitted without prior written permission of Company. The permitted use described in this Paragraph is contingent on your compliance at all times with these Terms. You may not republish any portion of the Content on any Internet, Intranet or extranet site or incorporate the Content in any documents, materials, database, compilation, archive or cache. You may not distribute any Content to others, whether or not for payment or other consideration, and you may not archive, modify, copy, frame, cache, reproduce, sell, publish, transmit, display or otherwise use any portion of the Content. You may not scrape or otherwise copy our Content without prior written permission. You agree not to decompile, reverse engineer or disassemble any software or other products or processes accessible through the Website, not to insert any code or product or manipulate the content of the Website in any way that affects the user’s experience, and not to use any data mining, data gathering or extraction method. The Website, its Content and all related rights shall remain the exclusive property of Company, its affiliates, partners, vendors or its licensors.
All trademarks, service marks and trade names of Company used herein (including but not limited to: the Company name, the Company corporate logo, the Company design, and the logo) (collectively “Marks”) are trademarks or registered trademarks of Company or its affiliates, partners, vendors or licensors. You may not use, copy, reproduce, republish, upload, post, transmit, distribute, or modify any Marks in any way, including in advertising or publicity pertaining to distribution of materials on this Website, without Company’s prior written consent. The use of any Marks on any other website or network computer environment is not allowed. Company prohibits the use of Marks as a “hot” link on or to any other website unless establishment of such a link is approved in advance.
The Company may provide you and other Users the opportunity to make comments and participate in forums, blogs, message boards, chat rooms. social networking, and other means of communications and may provide you with the opportunity, to submit, post, display, transmit, publish comments, opinions, content and materials to the Company or Website, including but not limited to reviews, writings, music, videos, photographs, audio or video recordings and/or computer graphics. (collectively “User Submissions”).
Company does not accept or consider creative ideas, suggestions, or materials other than those it has specifically requested. You acknowledge and agree that Company will not have any obligation to review, monitor, display, accept or exploit any User Submission and Company may, in its sole discretion, delete, move, re-format, edit, alter, distort, remove or refuse to exploit User Submission without notice or liability. You will not receive any consideration or compensation for your User Submission or for our exploitation of your User Submission. Except as prohibited by law, you waive any moral rights you may have in any User Submission
Any decisions as to whether User Submissions violate any Posting Rule will be made by the Company in its sole discretion and after we have actual notice of such posting. When you provide User Submission, you agree to the following Posting Rules:
Do not provide User Submission that:
WARNING: A VIOLATION OF THESE POSTING RULES MAY BE REFERRED TO LAW ENFORCEMENT AUTHORITIES. Company reserves the right to determine, in its sole discretion, if such a violation has occurred, and to remove any such User Submission from the Website.
You grant to Company the unrestricted, unconditional, unlimited, worldwide, irrevocable, perpetual and royalty-free right and license to host, archive, store, use, copy, distribute, sell, re-sell, display, perform, publish, broadcast, transmit, modify, edit, reformat, translate or otherwise exploit in any manner whatsoever, and create derivative works from such User Submissions for any purpose whatsoever in all forms, formats, on or through any medium of any kind now known or hereafter developed and with any technology or devices now known or hereafter developed. You further agree that Company is free to use any ideas, concepts, know-how or techniques contained in any User Submission you send to the Website or Company, for any purpose whatsoever, including, without limitation, developing, manufacturing and marketing products using such User Submissions. You also grant to Company the right to sub-license and authorize others to exercise any of the rights granted to Company under these Terms and any Additional Terms; and each such third party will be entitled to benefit from the rights and licenses granted to Company under these Terms and any Additional Terms. You further authorize Company to publish your User Submission in a searchable format that may be accessed by users of the Website and the Internet. All rights in this paragraph are granted without the need for additional compensation of any sort to you.
In connection with User Submissions, you , represent and warrant the following: (i) You are over the age of 18 and have the right and authority to enter into this Agreement, and are fully able and competent to satisfy the terms, conditions and obligations therein; (ii) You have obtained all consents, and possess all copyright, patent, trademark, trade secret and any other proprietary rights, or the necessary licenses thereto, to grant the license in Section 4; (iii) if necessary you have the written consent of each and every identifiable natural person in the User Submission to use such persons name or likeness or, in any case, personal data, in the manner contemplated by the Website and this Agreement, and each such person has released you from any liability that may arise in relation to such use; (iv) You have read, understood, agree with, and will abide by the terms of this Agreement; (v) You are not, and have not been an agent of Company and were not and are not acting on behalf of, or as a representative of, Company or any other party in connection with the User Submission; (vi) the User Submission and Company use thereof as contemplated by this Agreement and the Website will not infringe any rights of any third party, including but not limited to any intellectual property rights, privacy rights and rights of publicity. Company may cancel your account and delete all User Submission associated with your account at any time, and without notice, if Company deems that you have violated these Terms, the law, or for any other reason or no reason. Company assumes no liability for any information removed from the Website, and reserves the right to permanently restrict access to the Website or a user account.
You agree to indemnify and hold Company, its affiliates, subsidiaries, officers, employees, and website contractors and each of their officers, employees and agents harmless from any claims, damages and expenses, including reasonable attorneys’ fees and costs, related to your violation of these Terms or any violations thereof by your dependents or which arises from the use of User Submission you submitted, posted, or otherwise provided to Company. Upon Company’s request, you will furnish Company any documentation, substantiation or releases necessary to verify your compliance with these Terms and any Additional Terms.
User agrees that it will not:
You represent and warrant that: (i) you are over 18 and you have the legal right and authority to enter into this Agreement and are fully able and competent to satisfy the in your jurisdiction and to comply with these Terms and any Additional Terms or, if you are a minor, your parent or legal guardian has read and agreed to these Terms on your behalf; (ii) all information you provide to Company is accurate and complete; and (iii) you hold and will continue to hold all rights necessary to enter into and perform your obligations under these Terms and any Additional Terms.
You are solely responsible for your interaction with other users of the Website, whether online or offline. We are not responsible or liable for the conduct of any user. We reserve the right, but have no obligation, to monitor or become involved in disputes between you and other users.
The Website may contain links to websites operated by third parties. Company does not monitor or control the linked sites and makes no representations regarding, and is not liable or responsible for the accuracy, completeness, timeliness, reliability or availability of, any of the content uploaded, displayed, or distributed, or products, or services available at these sites. If you choose to access any third party site, you do so at your own risk. The presence of a link to a third-party site does not constitute or imply Company’s endorsement, sponsorship, or recommendation of the third party or of the content, products, or services contained on, or available through, the site.
Third party advertisers may offer goods, services and other materials to you on the Website. Your correspondence and business dealings with advertisers found on or through the Website including, but not limited to, the payment and delivery of goods and services, and any terms, conditions, warranties and representations associated with such dealings, are solely between you and the advertiser. You agree that we will not be responsible or liable for any loss or damage of any sort incurred as the result of any such dealings or the offering of such goods, services and other materials on the Website. Please review carefully that third party’s policies and practices and make sure you are comfortable with those policies and practices before you engage in any transaction. Any complaints, concerns or questions you may have relating to materials provided by third parties should be forwarded directly to the third party.
Registration is not required to view certain content of the Website. However, you may be required to register or provide personal identification information if you wish to provide User Submissions, subscribe to a service, enter a contest, or to participate in certain features or access certain content. The decision to provide this information is purely optional; however, if you elect not to provide such information, you may not be able to access certain content or User Submission or participate in certain features of the Website. When you provide information to the Website, you agree to provide only true, accurate, current and complete information.
If you register with the Website, you agree to accept responsibility for all activities that occur under your account or password, if any, and you agree you will not sell, transfer or assign your membership or any membership rights. You are responsible for maintaining the confidentiality of your password, if any, and for restricting access to your computer so that others may not access the password protected portion of the Website using your name in whole or in part. Company is not liable for any loss that you may incur as a result of someone else using your password or account, either with or without your knowledge. Company reserves the right to terminate your account at this Website or otherwise deny access to this Website (or any portion thereof) in its sole discretion without notice and without liability.
This Website may contain or offer sweepstakes or other promotions, which may be governed by a separate set of rules that describe the sweepstakes or promotion and may have eligibility requirements, such as certain age or geographic area restrictions. It is your responsibility to read those rules to determine whether or not your participation, registration or entry will be valid and to determine the sponsor’s requirements of you in connection with the applicable sweepstakes or promotion.
Company will determine your compliance with these Terms and any Additional Terms in its sole discretion. Any violation of these Terms or any Additional Terms may result in restrictions on your access to all or part of the Website and may be referred to law enforcement authorities. No waiver of any of these Terms shall be of any force or effect unless made in writing and signed by a duly authorized officer of Company. Company reserves the right to modify or discontinue this Website, or any portion thereof, without notice to you or any third party. Upon termination of your membership or access to the Website, or upon demand by Company, you must destroy all materials obtained from this Website and all related documentation and all copies and installations thereof. You are advised that Company will aggressively enforce its rights to the fullest extent of the law, including, without limitation, the seeking of criminal prosecution against you.
We attempt to ensure that information on this Website is complete, accurate and current. Despite our efforts, the information on this Website may occasionally be inaccurate, incomplete or out of date. We make no representation as to the completeness, accuracy or currency of any information on this Website. For example, products included on this Website may be unavailable, may have different attributes than those listed, or may actually carry a different price than that stated on this Website. In addition, we may make changes in information about price and availability without notice. While it is our practice to confirm orders by email, the receipt of an email order confirmation does not constitute our acceptance of an order or our confirmation of an offer to sell a product or service. We reserve the right, without prior notice, to limit the order quantity on any product or service and/or to refuse service to any customer. We also may require verification of information prior to the acceptance and/or shipment of any order.
You are prohibited from posting or sending any unlawful, threatening, defamatory, libelous, obscene, pornographic or profane material or any material that could constitute or encourage conduct that would be considered a criminal offense or give rise to civil liability, or otherwise violate any law. Such violations may subject the sender and his or her agents to civil and criminal penalties. You further understand and agree that sending unsolicited email advertisements to any user of the Website is expressly prohibited by this Agreement. Any such unauthorized use of our computer systems is a violation of this Agreement and applicable “anti-spam” laws. In addition to any remedies that we may have at law or in equity, if we determine, in our sole discretion, that you have violated or are likely to violate the foregoing prohibitions, we may take any action we deem necessary to cure or prevent the violation, including without limitation, the immediate removal of the related materials from this Website. We will fully cooperate with any law enforcement authorities or court order or subpoena requesting or directing us to disclose the identity of anyone posting such materials.
User published Submissions do not represent the views of Company or any individual associated with Company, and we do not control the content of the User published Submissions. In no event shall you represent or suggest, directly or indirectly, Company’s endorsement of User published Submissions. Company does not vouch for the accuracy or credibility of any User published Submissions on our Website, and does not take any responsibility or assume any liability for any actions you may take as a result of reading User published Submissions on our Website. Through your use of the Website and Services, you may be exposed to User published Submissions that you may find offensive, objectionable, harmful, inaccurate or deceptive. There may also be risks of dealing with underage persons, people acting under false pretense, international trade issues and foreign nationals. By using our Website, you assume all associated risks.
For all charges for any products and services sold on the Website, Company will bill your credit card or alternative payment method offered by Company. In the event legal action is necessary to collect on balances due, you agree to reimburse Company for all expenses incurred to recover sums due, including attorneys’ fees and other legal expenses. You are responsible for purchase of, and payment of charges for, all Internet access services and telecommunications services needed for use of this Website.
Neither Company nor you shall be responsible for damages or for delays or failures in performance resulting from acts or occurrences beyond their reasonable control, including, without limitation: fire, lightning, explosion, power surge or failure, water, acts of God, war, revolution, civil commotion or acts of civil or military authorities or public enemies: any law, order, regulation, ordinance, or requirement of any government or legal body or any representative of any such government or legal body; or labor unrest, including without limitation, strikes, slowdowns, picketing, or boycotts; inability to secure raw materials, transportation facilities, fuel or energy shortages, or acts or omissions of other common carriers.
YOUR USE OF THIS WEBSITE IS AT YOUR RISK. THE INFORMATION, MATERIALS AND SERVICES PROVIDED ON OR THROUGH THIS WEBSITE ARE PROVIDED “AS IS” WITHOUT ANY WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND INCLUDING WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OR NON-INFRINGEMENT OF INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY. NEITHER COMPANY, NOR ANY OF ITS AFFILIATES WARRANT THE ACCURACY OR COMPLETENESS OF THE INFORMATION, MATERIALS OR SERVICES PROVIDED ON OR THROUGH THIS WEBSITE. THE INFORMATION, MATERIALS AND SERVICES PROVIDED ON OR THROUGH THIS WEBSITE MAY BE OUT OF DATE, AND NEITHER COMPANY, NOR ANY OF ITS AFFILIATES MAKES ANY COMMITMENT OR ASSUMES ANY DUTY TO UPDATE SUCH INFORMATION, MATERIALS OR SERVICES. THE FOREGOING EXCLUSIONS OF IMPLIED WARRANTIES DO NOT APPLY TO THE EXTENT PROHIBITED BY LAW. PLEASE REFER TO YOUR LOCAL LAWS FOR ANY SUCH PROHIBITIONS.
ALL PRODUCTS AND SERVICES PURCHASED ON OR THROUGH THIS WEBSITE ARE SUBJECT ONLY TO ANY APPLICABLE WARRANTIES OF THEIR RESPECTIVE MANUFACTURES, DISTRIBUTORS AND SUPPLIERS, IF ANY. TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMISSIBLE BY APPLICABLE LAW, WE HEREBY DISCLAIM ALL WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, ANY IMPLIED WARRANTIES WITH RESPECT TO THE PRODUCTS AND SERVICES LISTED OR PURCHASED ON OR THROUGH THIS WEBSITE. WITHOUT LIMITING THE GENERALITY OF THE FOREGOING, WE HEREBY EXPRESSLY DISCLAIM ALL LIABILITY FOR PRODUCT DEFECT OR FAILURE, CLAIMS THAT ARE DUE TO NORMAL WEAR, PRODUCT MISUSE, ABUSE, PRODUCT MODIFICATION, IMPROPER PRODUCT SELECTION, NON-COMPLIANCE WITH ANY CODES, OR MISAPPROPRIATION. THE FOREGOING EXCLUSIONS OF IMPLIED WARRANTIES DO NOT APPLY TO THE EXTENT PROHIBITED BY LAW. PLEASE REFER TO YOUR LOCAL LAWS FOR ANY SUCH PROHIBITIONS.
Company does not assume any responsibility, nor will it be liable, for any damages to, or any viruses that may infect, your computer, telecommunication equipment, or other property caused by or arising from your access to, use of, or browsing this Website, or your downloading of any information or materials from this Website. IN NO EVENT WILL COMPANY, OR ANY OF ITS OFFICERS, DIRECTORS, EMPLOYEES, SHAREHOLDERS, AFFILIATES, AGENTS, SUCCESSORS OR ASSIGNS, NOR ANY PARTY INVOLVED IN THE CREATION, PRODUCTION OR TRANSMISSION OF THIS WEBSITE, BE LIABLE TO YOU OR ANYONE ELSE FOR ANY INDIRECT, SPECIAL, PUNITIVE, INCIDENTAL OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES (INCLUDING, WITHOUT LIMITATION, THOSE RESULTING FROM LOST PROFITS, LOST DATA OR BUSINESS INTERRUPTION) ARISING OUT OF THE USE, INABILITY TO USE, OR THE RESULTS OF USE OF THIS WEBSITE, ANY WEBSITES LINKED TO THIS WEBSITE, OR THE MATERIALS, INFORMATION OR SERVICES CONTAINED ON ANY OR ALL SUCH WEBSITES, WHETHER BASED ON WARRANTY, CONTRACT, TORT OR ANY OTHER LEGAL THEORY AND WHETHER OR NOT ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES. YOU SPECIFICALLY ACKNOWLEDGE THAT COMPANY SHALL NOT BE LIABLE FOR USER SUBMISSIONS OR THE DEFAMATORY, OFFENSIVE, OR ILLEGAL CONDUCT OF ANY THIRD PARTY, AND THAT THE RISK OF HARM OR DAMAGE FROM THE FOREGOING RESTS ENTIRELY WITH YOU. THE FOREGOING LIMITATIONS OF LIABILITY DO NOT APPLY TO THE EXTENT PROHIBITED BY LAW. PLEASE REFER TO YOUR LOCAL LAWS FOR ANY SUCH PROHIBITIONS
IN THE EVENT OF ANY PROBLEM WITH THIS WEBSITE OR ANY CONTENT, YOU AGREE THAT YOUR SOLE REMEDY IS TO CEASE USING THIS WEBSITE. IN THE EVENT OF ANY PROBLEM WITH THE PRODUCTS OR SERVICES THAT YOU HAVE PURCHASED ON OR THROUGH THIS WEBSITE, TO THE EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW, YOU AGREE THAT YOUR SOLE REMEDY, IF ANY, IS FROM THE MANUFACTURER OF SUCH PRODUCTS OR SUPPLIER OF SUCH SERVICES, IN ACCORDANCE WITH SUCH MANUFACTURER’S OR SUPPLIER’S WARRANTY, OR TO SEEK A RETURN AND REFUND FOR SUCH PRODUCT OR SERVICES. IN NO EVENT SHALL COMPANY’S TOTAL LIABILITY TO YOU FOR ALL DAMAGES, LOSSES, AND CAUSES OF ACTION WHETHER IN CONTRACT OR OTHERWISE EXCEED THE GREATER OF (A) TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS ($25.00) OR (B) THE VALUE OF YOUR PURCHASE FROM THE COMPANY ON THE WEBSITE, AND NOT FROM THIRD PARTIES.
You agree to defend, indemnify and hold Company and any affiliated company or individual harmless from any and all liabilities, costs, and expenses, including reasonable attorneys’ fees, related to or in connection with (i) the use of the Website or the Internet or your placement or transmission of any message or information on this Website by you or your authorized users; (ii) your violation of any term of this Agreement, including without limitation, your breach of any of the representations and warranties above; (iii) your violation of any third party right, including without limitation any right of privacy, publicity rights or intellectual property rights; (iv) your violation of any law, rule or regulation of the United States or any other country; (v) any claim or damages that arise as a result of any User Submission that you provide to Company; or (vi) any other party’s access and use of the Website with your unique username, password or other appropriate security code.
In the event that you have a dispute with one or more other users of the Website, you release Company (and our officers, directors, agents, parent, subsidiaries, joint ventures and employees) from claims, demands and damages (actual and consequential) of every kind and nature, known and unknown, suspected and unsuspected, disclosed and undisclosed, arising out of or in any way connected with such disputes.
You or we may suspend or terminate your account or your use of this Website at any time, for any reason or for no reason. You are personally liable for any orders placed or charges incurred through your account prior to termination. We may also block your access to our Website in the event that (a) you breach this Agreement; (b) we are unable to verify or authenticate any information you provide to us; or (c) we believe that your actions may cause financial loss or legal liability for you, our users or us.
Any claim relating to, and the use of, this Website and the materials contained herein is governed by the laws of the Illinois, United States of America. You consent to the exclusive jurisdiction of the state and federal courts located in Cook County, Illinois. A printed version of these Terms and Conditions will be admissible in judicial and administrative proceedings based upon or relating to these Terms and Conditions to the same extent and subject to the same conditions as other business documents and records originally generated and maintained in printed form. This Website is controlled and operated by Company from its offices within the State of Illinois, United States of America. Company makes no representations or warranties that the Content of this Website is appropriate or lawful in any jurisdictions outside the United States. Those who choose to access this Website from other locations do so on their own initiative and are responsible for compliance with local laws, if and to the extent local laws are applicable.
The Terms and Conditions of this Agreement are the entire agreement between the user and Company and supersede any prior understandings or agreements (written or oral).
If for any reason any provision of this Agreement is found unenforceable, that provision shall be enforced to the maximum extent permissible so as to effect the intent of the parties as reflected in that provision, and the remainder of the Agreement shall continue in full force and effect.
Any failure of the Company to enforce or exercise any provision of this Agreement or related right shall not constitute a waiver of that right or provision.
To contact the Company, please use the following:
TELEPHONE: (312) 450-6324