It’s been 16 years since we last heard from the hella-toxic couples who make up Tyler Perry’s “Why Did I Get Married?” movies. One of the many stage productions the one-man entertainment empire has brought to the screen (and launched a whole damn franchise in the process), Perry has (kinda) brought the whole gang back together for “Why Did I Get Married Again?,” which is streaming on Netflix. Since the whole story has always been a darker-skinned spin on “The Four Seasons,” I guess Perry decided he might as well drop this entry in the same place where you can also find that Tina Fey reboot.
This one is more of a legacyquel, as the couples are older, and their kids are now ready to jump the broom. Bickering twosome Marcus (Michael Jai White) and Angela (Tasha Smith) are about to see their daughter walk down the aisle in Lake Como, Italy. Before that, they host a lavish celebratory banquet at their mansion, inviting their old married pals Terry (Perry) & Diane (Sharon Leal), and Troy (Lamman Parker) & Sheila (Jill Scott). For reasons no one can explain, they also invite Sheila’s narcissistic, abusive ex Mike (Richard T. Jones), who shows up with a man weave and a pretty young thing on his arm.
Janet Jackson isn’t back for this one; as explained in the massive exposition dump that opens this movie, her Pat character is on a lecture tour. (Between this and “Michael,” Jackson really didn’t feel like showing up in movies people were expecting her to be in this year.) Replacing her is Taraji P. Henson, playing old friend and future mother-in-law Roselyn.
The first two “Married” movies were strangely structured dramedies. The first half has the friends getting together at a vacation locale, trading fun and verbal fireworks. Then, the second half has all the players back at home, dealing with marital issues that range from farcical to disturbing. But this one is all vacation; it looks like Perry is officially at the point in his career where he can convince studios to foot the bill on films that are basically expensive getaway trips. (Congrats, Tyler. You and Adam Sandler should talk.)
The cast delivers some decent performances between putting on fancy duds and soaking up the scenery. Although she is supposed to play the most sensitive of the crew, the endlessly bosomy Scott always looks like she’s about to play the stepmom in a Brazzers video—not that I’m complaining one bit. (It seems Scott gladly took the divalicious baton Jackson dropped for this movie.) Perry does give White and Henson some nice moments, and they handle their respective parts impressively.
Perry spends more time getting gorgeous, hopefully-not-AI shots of Italy than coming up with a story that doesn’t make me incessantly scream “Get the hell outta here!” at the screen. As with the other movies, this trip is full of secrets, lies, and other low-down stuff (STDs and drugs, those ol’ Perry standbys, are involved) that oddly don’t get resolved until the big sentimental setpiece in the third act—a Perry staple—where all the characters get real.
In his own woke-but-still-preachy fashion, Perry uses this “Married” to address breaking the shackles of generational trauma, as these couples come clean to their kids about their past indiscretions and encourage them not to go down the same path. (Both the actors and their characters are so bland and indistinguishable; they act more like day players.) As admirable as that sentiment is, hearing these people talk about the affairs, VD shots, and other crazy-ass things they’ve dealt with would make real-world young adults steer clear of marriage altogether.
In all honesty, this movie should really be called: “Why Did I Get Married Again—and Why the Hell Are Y’all Still Together?”
