A frustratingly not-terrible action thriller.
The story goes like this: Werner Herzog, the holy genius of the German New Wave, decides to make a documentary about the Loch Ness monster.
At the same time, a documentary is being made about Herzog by John Bailey, the famous cinematographer. Bailey and his crew follow Herzog and his crew to Loch Ness, where Herzog's producer turns out to be a jerk who hires his girlfriend as the "sonar expert" and expects everyone to wear official matching jumpsuits "so it will look like a real expedition." On the suits, he spells it expediition.
Herzog realizes he is in the hands of a charlatan. The "sonar expert" (Kitana Baker) explains that her professional experience includes modeling for Playboy and appearing in the Miller Lite cat-fight commercials. The producer (Zak Penn) also springs a "cryptozoologist" on Herzog, and we learn that cryptozoology is "the study of undiscovered animals." The crypto guy produces a test tube containing a "mysterious" tentacle of which it can be said that it is definitely small. The sonar expert appears in an American flag bikini. Herzog is enraged that the producer has hired these people; the director should make such decisions.
They are all, meanwhile, on a boat named the Discovery IV; the producer liked the sound of that, despite the fact that there was no Discovery I, II or III. The captain, a grizzled old sea dog (or loch dog) named David A. Davidson, mutters darkly about it being bad luck to change the name of a boat. A miniature fake Loch Ness monster is produced, and Herzog, asked to photograph it, says it is "stupid" and tells Bailey's doc camera: "I became aware that there was something seriously wrong." But then something attacks the boat, a crew member is eaten, the producer makes off in the only lifeboat, the sonar expert reveals "I did study up a little" and tries to summon help on the radio, and Herzog dons a wet suit and announces plans to swim to shore for help.