Aristotle, Søren Kierkegaard, and Henri Bergson have all offered theories of comedy to explain the origin and purpose of laughter. But none dealt with the most important source of laughter, one that has united cultures throughout time: butts.
Butts are funny. Everything about them. Even the word “butt” is funny. In comedy, slapstick especially, the butt is the origin and, har-de-har, end-point of everything. There is no such thing as too many butt jokes. Somehow, the more butt jokes there are, the funnier the next butt joke becomes.
The makers of “SpongeBob SquarePants Movie: Search for SquarePants” understand this, which is why the movie averages one butt joke every five minutes. There probably would have been more but there are safety concerns. The target audience—small children and their like-minded parents—needs time to recover before the next butt joke.
“Search for Squarepants” is the latest feature spun off from the animated series about the adorable but not-too-bright sponge (voiced by Tom Kenny) who lives in a pineapple under the sea, and is constantly getting into trouble with his best friend Patrick the starfish (Bill Fagerbakke), whose brainpower makes SpongeBob seem like a Rhodes scholar in comparison.
SpongeBob is obsessed with proving to his employer, Mr. Krabs (Clancy Brown), that he’s a “big guy” and not some little kid. This has been gnawing at him for a long time. The pain is especially acute whenever he visits Captain Booty Beard’s Amusement Park and tries to ride The Shipwreck, the scariest rollercoaster under the sea, and is denied admittance because he’s not tall enough.
To prove their Big Guydom, SpongeBob and Patrick embark on a journey to recover Mr. Krabs’ “swashbuckler certificate”—which, as you might’ve gathered, certifies that Mr. Krabs was once a swashbuckler, i.e., a pirate—from The Underworld. The Underworld is a sector of the deepest ocean lorded over by The Flying Dutchman (voiced here by Mark Hamill, taking over from Brian Doyle-Murray). SpongeBob and Patrick must do this because they are responsible for the certificate’s disappearance. Also, SpongeBob believes he’s fated to go on this journey. “Destiny is squeezing my buns!” he exclaims.
The Underworld is filled with sea creatures that seem harmless on first glance, but reveal themselves as toothy, drooling predators. Others are scary-looking from the instant they appear. The Dutchman is scary, too, in his ridiculous way. He’s a ghost who wants to be alive again and, according to legend, will achieve his goal if he can capture and sacrifice a pure innocent. As it happens, one is available.
Fortunately, Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob’s snooty foil Squidward (voiced by Roger Bumpass, which, in butt-centric entertainment, is known as “perfect casting”) follow them to The Underworld in a Winnebago. “We can’t lose in a Winn-ebago,” Squidward says, grinning expectantly for applause that never comes.
All the jokes are all like that, thank Triton. Mr. Krabs carries a book of passcodes that includes “Mom’s Shell.” As in shellphones. Yes, the sea creatures use shellfones. When Mr. Krabs answers a call, he says, “Shello?” We get a glimpse of SpongeBob’s driver’s license, and in the photo, he’s got braces. His smile is huge, as if he can’t believe how awesome it is to have braces. Mr. Krabs is shown working on a dollar-in-a-bottle, from inside a larger bottle. To work on the dollar, Mr. Krabs has to reach out through the neck of the bottle he’s in, and into the neck of the other bottle. How Mr. Krabs got into the larger bottle is not this film’s concern.
The butt jokes, though. There are so many! You know the colloquial phrase about being so scared that you, uh, poop a brick? It is visualized here with a cartoon brick that materializes behind a frightened character (who has pants on!) and lands on the ground with a loud “CLINK!!!” “I wondered where I left my lucky brick!” SpongeBob exclaims. Later in the movie, Patrick also drops a brick. SpongeBob says he didn’t realize that Patrick also carries a lucky brick. “I don’t have a lucky brick!” says Patrick, mystified.
How many bricks are pooped in this movie? I counted five. But I may have missed some. The gags fly at us every few seconds, and they’re sublimely silly. The fabled Davy Jones’ locker is located in the boys’ locker room of the Bikini Bottom High School gymnasium. SpongeBob joins in a musical number and uses his front teeth as a guitar pick. When one of the undersea monsters is vanquished, it spins around so that we’re looking at it from the back. As its knees buckle and it pitches forward, its pants fall down, revealing tighty whiteys.
This review of “The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie: Search for SquarePants” is dedicated to the little girl sitting with her parents at the end of my row. From the moment the film’s squishy yellow hero first appeared onscreen until the final credits faded, she did not stop giggling. Neither did I. This movie is a classic of silliness—no ifs, ands, or butts.
