“The Pickup” is as generic and forgettable as its title suggests: a bland action-comedy that will surely end up being one of the year’s worst movies, if only for the egregious way it squanders its talented cast.
Eddie Murphy and Pete Davidson co-star as mismatched-buddy security guards in this empty diversion, which is going straight to Prime Video. But it’s not even a worthy fold-your-laundry movie. There is so much superior content to provide that kind of mindless background noise. Silence would actually be preferable.
Despite the incredible charisma of all the individual players, no one has any perceptible connection with anyone else. Murphy and Davidson have no chemistry. Davidson and Keke Palmer have no chemistry. Palmer and Murphy have no chemistry. Murphy and Eva Longoria have no chemistry. The only reason this movie gets one star rather than zero is for the brief appearance of Marshawn Lynch, who has woefully little to do in just a couple of scenes but is always an engaging screen presence.
It all comes down to the script from Kevin Burrows and Matt Mider. Tim Story’s direction is serviceable: The veteran filmmaker (“Barbershop,” “Ride Along”) is usually stronger with the comedy part of the action-comedy combo, but the writing here is really atrocious. The characters behave erratically, and crucial parts of the heist that drives the plot make no sense. And although there’s a ticking-clock element to the crime in question, there’s never any real sense of urgency.
Fellow “Saturday Night Live” alums Murphy and Davidson co-star as Russell and Travis, security guards for a New Jersey armored truck company. This is their first time being paired up, so of course everything goes horribly wrong. The stoic Russell just wants to retire so he can open a bed and breakfast with his wife, Natalie (Longoria, stuck playing a saucy Latina stereotype). It’s also their 25th wedding anniversary, which we hear about repeatedly, but a subplot involving Natalie’s wedding ring doesn’t add much in terms of stakes. Travis is immature and impulsive, as we see from the film’s opening scene at a bank, but he’s also secretly a math whiz …? Who dreams of becoming a police officer …? He’s merely a collection of annoying quirks.
A crew of high-tech thieves hijacks the truck along its route. Their leader is Palmer’s Zoe, who seduced Travis at the beginning of the movie to obtain key details for her plan. Because Travis is an idiot – but, again, secretly brilliant – he had no idea she was using him. Implausibly, we’re meant to believe these two characters might legitimately fall in love with each other by the end of the film.
The hijacking is the most exciting part of “The Pickup.” It features actual thrills and a clever use of exploding dye packs. It also makes zero sense. Supposedly, this is a 100-mile stretch of road where there’s no cell phone signal and no other cars in the middle of the day. But it’s also close to Atlantic City, which is the ultimate destination. I’ve never lived in rural New Jersey, but I have to assume that mobile phone service is better than that in this day and age.
Anyway, it’s not what’s inside the truck that Zoe wants, it’s the truck itself, which will allow her access to a casino where she plans to steal the $60 million that’s waiting there on a Monday after a weekend of gambling. The personal and emotional reason for this particular crime at this particular place is meant to give the movie depth, but it feels flimsy and wedged in. “Ocean’s Eleven,” this is not.
Davidson is his hyper self and is stuck trying to be funny at times when the comedy feels tonally awkward. Palmer sometimes summons a commanding spark, but her character is superficial. And Murphy just looks bored. Every once in a while, he does one of his signature voices or gets exasperated in a way that’s familiar, but rather than improving the movie, it only serves as a distracting reminder of how much better he can be.
One of the most dismaying moments is a scene in which Murphy and Andrew Dice Clay, as his boss at the armored truck company, stand around trading flat exposition with each other. These are people who used to do dangerous comedy. These were singular performers who did groundbreaking standup. They took risks. Now they’re just taking a paycheck.
