Writer/director William Kaufman specializes in action movie cheapies about soldiers and square-jawed men of action who duck-walk through hostile territory with big guns, scanning for enemies and new plot developments. “Osiris,” a science-fiction siege thriller that pits a squad of Special Forces commandoes against a host of laser-blasting aliens, continues in this ignoble tradition.
Here Kaufman (“Warhorse One,” “The Marine 4: Moving Target”) offers action fans a stunts- and practical-effects-driven homage to genre staples like “Aliens” and “Predator.” The sets all look cheap, but the aliens’ makeup effects were evidently designed by the prolific Todd Masters (“Final Destination: Bloodlines” most recently). There’s even a few scenes and some dialogue with fan favorite Linda Hamilton, whose presence in the movie’s ads might help set realistic expectations. It’s never surprising nor smooth enough to warrant more than qualified praise, but “Osiris” will make you sit up and ask: Wait, who made this?
“Osiris” kicks off its plot with two mostly negligible opening scenes. First, we get a brief history of the Voyager 1 space probe, which first explored the “Earth moon system” in the 1970s and then, in 2012, left our solar system for parts unknown. Next there’s a protracted and technically impressive shoot-out in present-day Uzbekistan, where masked gunmen (presumably local insurgents) box in and snipe at Kelly (producer Max Martini) and his fellow Marines. The plot only kicks in once Kelly’s gang regain consciousness inside a UFO that interrupts their mettle-testing Uzbek skirmish.
As they wake up, the good guys remember being tortured and probed by hulking, snarling aliens with big laser guns and shields. And if these ETs’ physical features don’t set the tone—flaring nostrils, no eyes, and big teeth—their human trophies do, especially a pair of skinned corpses hanging from the ship’s rafters. Kelly’s guys fire their guns and wander around a set that looks like it was borrowed from “Stargate SG-1”. They stumble into fellow abductee Ravi (Brianna Hildebrand), who helps the men get their bearings. They sweat and speculate about how they can survive undetected as they’re chased by roided-up monsters who look like a rough cross between Marvel Comics’ Venom and the berserker Nemesis from “Resident Evil: Apocalypse”. Eventually, Sarah Connor shows up.
Kaufman keeps things moving at a brisk pace and delivers the sort of cheesy dialogue and story beats that you should expect from this dorky, but serviceable genre exercise. He’s a better action filmmaker than he is a straight-up dramatist, as you can unfortunately tell in scenes where the protagonists struggle to emote through visually and emotionally flat dialogue scenes.
The ensemble cast members do what they can with thin material, but there’s only so far that they can take such by-the-numbers material, like when one guy speculates that they’re not surrounded by aliens, but rather demons, and one of his comrades snaps back by suggesting that the first guy was the product of inbreeding. Not the most convincing display of male camaraderie, but it doesn’t have to be given the movie’s consistently engaging action scenes. Then again, it’s also hard to stay invested in Kelly’s group and their fates given the rote nature of many key plot developments. You don’t have to be concentrating on the movie to know what happens next after one guy crows, “We did it! We ****in’ did it!” You’ve seen this movie before and that’s likely why you’re back for more.
That said, Kaufman earns his budding rep during action and chase scenes that keep your attention giving their frequent changes of pace and perspective. None of the alien fight scenes achieve the same visceral effect as the movie’s opening Uzbekistan set piece, though the big climactic showdown comes close. Kelly’s interactions with Ravi also have their moments. The actors don’t have great chemistry, but their characters suggest a lot by fulfilling their respective roles. Even Masters’ goofy-looking monsters are presented like the star attractions that they are. Many other filmmakers have tried and failed to pull off something like “Osiris”. Kaufman’s movie stands out because he doesn’t miss a beat.
“Osiris” is more disappointing for its strained one-liners and perfunctory crowd-pleasing moments than its general lack of originality. You get what you pay for here (and then some), even if it’s hard to overlook a wan zinger that name-drops Dolly Parton. A hammy pun about “hanging” around has a similarly underwhelming effect. The biggest problem in both cases isn’t that these lines are demeaning or dopey, but that they’re unevenly grilled cheese.
It’s also not like the lovingly/obsessively detailed elements that make Kaufman’s action scenes noteworthy aren’t present in other parts of the movie. They’re just not as polished or uniformly applied throughout. “Osiris” still does what it does and often well enough to wish that it were a better crowdpleaser.
