There is always something unexpected about stories whose setting is constantly on the move. “Stop! That! Train!” twists and turns and derails a few times. It’s the type of slop, like those chicken nuggets made from pink slime, that may taste good at first but has absolutely no nutritional value. With little else to do, we shrug our shoulders, strap in, and hopefully crack a smile for an unserious series of events.
Director/producer Adam Shankman (“Hairspray,” “The Wedding Planner”) teams up with RuPaul to take us on the Glamazonian Express, the United States’ first-ever hyper speed rail. The film centers on best friends Tess (Ginger Minj) and DeeDee (Jujubee) as they scheme their way into being stewardesses on the Glamazonian. Their train line, ironically comparable to Spirit Airlines’ Stank Rail, went out of business because it was dedicated to serving low-income clientele. Because of a switch in the screenplay during development, the film hinges on comparisons and riffs on the airline travel experience. Conductors make announcements like pilots, a drink cart makes its way directly to passengers, and the center conflict is inclement weather, a Stormaganza, posing a major threat to the overall trip.
The ensemble-esque cast and crew—who bring star power to their underdeveloped characters—come together to create a “RuPaul’s Drag Race” rendition of Marvel cameos. Queens and stars like Monét X Change, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Nicole Richie, and Algeria Paris VanMichaels add little substance to the story outside of being a recurring blip. Every instance of seeing side characters is like a hodge-podge series of skits with a script that is not as daring as it could and should be. For a comedic-action flick born from drag culture, one would expect to be a bit more gagged by the jokes or physical comedy, but it elicits little more than an exhaled “ha.” Recycled lingo from “RuPaul’s Drag Race” and other gay media feels reminiscent of your mom showing you a video on Facebook that you saw three weeks ago.
“Stop! That! Train!” is shooting for camp, a style that thrives on an overflowing cup, but as a viewer, our perspective leaves us seeing things as half empty. At the onset of the Sormaganza, the Glamazonian Express diverts to a closed track that runs through a tunnel, forced to dodge the entities that haunt it. Like a true rollercoaster, the train corkscrews and swerves without hesitation—technically puzzling but silly enough not to be objectionable.
As we make our way through the 92-minute amusement park ride, there are a handful of musical numbers to make light of the impending doom, poking at how easily the general public can be distracted. RuPaul as President Gagwell is particularly well written in reflecting real-world leaders’ inability and readiness to respond suddenly to a doomsday call.
While the filmmakers deny using generative A.I., the credit to Acme AI & FX makes me question exactly what type of CGI was deployed. Any landscape or exterior sequence glides by in the blink of an eye; every instance amounts to a general lack of taste and artistic etiquette in animation. Some may argue that an independent movie must cut corners to cut costs, but with a $20M budget and a generally low-budget look, it seems salaries were prioritized over authenticity.
Despite the lackluster originality, “Stop! That! Train!” feels celebratory, seeing so much queer culture grace the screen, seeking to inject some joy into the world. As the credits roll, blooper reels begin to run, like many classic comedy movies. Each snippet shows us how much fun the cast had while filming, laughing, and leaning into every stupid moment with earnest energy. Seeing their enjoyment in making their film leaves one wishing the film would impart a similar desire in its audience to ease up and sing along at the end of the world.
