Roger Ebert said that what makes him cry in movies is not when it’s sad but when it’s kind. I am the same way, which is why I watched much of “I Wish You All the Best” through tears. It is based on the novel by Mason Deaver, the story of a non-binary 17-year-old named Ben (Corey Fogelmanis) who their rigidly religious parents reject. They call their sister, Hannah (Alexandra Daddario), though they have not spoken in a decade because their parents also found her unacceptable. Hannah and her husband, Thomas (Cole Sprouse), welcome him instantly and unconditionally.
The rest of the film is seeing how respect and acceptance allow Ben to respect and accept themselves. It is like watching a flower bloom, delicately and compassionately portrayed by writer/director Tommy Dorfman and a beautiful performance by Fogelmanis. Watch how his physicality changes in subtle ways. As he lets go of the emotional burden of not being honest with himself or others about who he is, he unclenches his shoulders and straightens his back. He walks differently, and at one point, he even dances down the street. His face lights up.
But there are bumps along the way. Ben is a teenager, and has to begin to learn what it means to care about other people and, an even bigger challenge, to care about themselves and to accept being cared about. Hannah instantly offers Ben a home with her, but they will need Ben to earn money to support them. She gets Ben a job with a local program that provides daytime activities for older people, many of whom are struggling with memory loss. Thomas, a high school teacher, is able to get Ben registered for classes by finessing the parent authorization and asks a friendly student, Nathan (Miles Gutierrez-Riley), to show him around. Ben will have to learn to be honest and responsible in all those relationships: showing up on time for the job, letting Hannah know where they are, and considering Nathan’s feelings.
Ben is also the sole student in the art class led by the kind of warm-hearted, delightfully quirky art teacher everyone should have, Ms. Lyons, played by Lena Dunham. Their scenes together are among the best in the film, as she encourages Ben to express themselves and to see those around them. Ben literally pieces together images of their feelings about who they are, and it is joyful to see those feelings move from repressed to acknowledged to inspiring, as Ben (later known as B) presents themselves to the world as they really are.
There’s a heartening authenticity in the details of this story. They ground what might otherwise be an overly sunny portrayal of the welcome and support from everyone Ben meets. What conflict there is, outside of Ben/B’s internal struggles and some improbably generous forgiveness from people he has let down, comes from Ben’s/B’s parents reaching out for reconciliation. They are prepared to offer their parents the same kind of generosity they have received, and they are able to establish boundaries. Both are more significant than what the parents have to say.
Dorfman (who played Ryan on “13 Reasons Why” before transitioning at age 28) brings a tender-hearted sensitivity to the story. The compassion she brings to every character is endearing, and her unquestioning love for them makes this a heartwarming gem.
