Office Christmas Party
Another reminder that allowing your cast to madly improvise instead of actually providing a coherent script with a scintilla of inherent logic often leads to…
I admit I lost track of the sieges and battles. “Season of the Witch” opens with a series of helpfully labeled sequences in which desert battles are fought, cities are sacked, buttresses stormed, redoubts doubted, enclosures enclosed, and so on. I didn't take notes, but if I had, an example might be, “The Siege of Synecdoche, April 1, 1239, A.D.”
Anyway, there's a slew of them. Crusaders in armor do battle with fierce desert tribesmen under the blazing sun. Heads are lopped off and roll across the plain. Horses whinny, women scream, children flee, warriors are disemboweled, limbs severed, dogs would bark if there were dogs. The horror!
After about a dozen years of this, we pause for a discussion between the two hero Crusaders, Behmen (Nicolas Cage) and Felson (Ron Perlman). Yes, Cage and Perlman, so you suspect “Season of the Witch” will not be an exercise in understatement. “The killing of the women and children must stop!” they agree. Having arrived at this conclusion after 12 years of rape and pillage, they do not qualify as quick studies. The comrades abandon the armies of the Crusades, hit the road and happen across a town somewhere in the vastness.
They have an excellent reason for ending up here, of all places: Why, this is the very same town of the pre-title sequence! Where three women were forced to confess to witchcraft, thrown backward off a bridge with nooses around their necks, hung dead and then prudently drowned in the river below! We liberals are earnestly deploring the superstition that forced them to confess Salem-style, until they spring back up from the dark waters, and, hey, they actually were witches. Sometimes Glenn Beck is right.