In Memoriam 1942 – 2013 “Roger Ebert loved movies.”

RogerEbert.com

Thumb concrete poster

Dragged Across Concrete

It’s difficult to ignore the craftsmanship and performances in Dragged Across Concrete simply because you don’t like some of its darker themes or feel like…

Thumb sunset poster

Sunset

Nemes' suggestive, impressionistic approach takes some getting used to, but Sunset is worth the extra effort.

Other Reviews
Review Archives
Thumb xbepftvyieurxopaxyzgtgtkwgw

Ballad of Narayama

"The Ballad of Narayama" is a Japanese film of great beauty and elegant artifice, telling a story of startling cruelty. What a space it opens…

Other Reviews
Great Movie Archives

Reviews

Paul Blart: Mall Cop

Paul Blart: Mall Cop Movie Review
  |  

"Paul Blart: Mall Cop" is a slapstick comedy with a hero who is a nice guy. I thought that wasn't allowed anymore. He's a single dad, bringing up his daughter with the help of his mom. He takes his job seriously. He may be chubby but he's brave and optimistic. And he's in a PG-rated film with no nudity except for a bra strap, and no jokes at all about bodily functions.

What's even more amazing, "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" isn't "wholesome" as a code word for "boring." It's as slam-bang preposterous as any R-rated comedy you can name. It's just that Paul Blart and the film's other characters don't feel the need to use the f-word as the building block of every sentence. They rely on the rest of the English language, which proves adequate.

Advertisement

Kevin James ("The King of Queens") stars as Officer Blart, who looks like the result of an experiment combing the genomes of Jackie Gleason and Nathan Lane. He dreams of making it into the state police, and indeed is in great physical shape, but tends to collapse because of hypoglycemia. He carries around little sugar packets the way some people pack nitro for angina. He's a veteran security officer at a giant mall in West Orange, N.J., which he patrols aboard a Segway, a vehicle he has so mastered that he can even go in reverse without looking.

It is Black Friday, day after Thanksgiving, busiest shopping day of the year. He turns up pitifully hung over. Paul doesn't drink, but the night before, assaulted by hot sauce during a nacho-eating contest, he chugged a pitcher that he mistakenly thought contained virgin margaritas. His behavior alienates a pretty mall sales clerk named Amy (Jayma Mays), and his heart has been broken, far from the first time.

The mall is seized by a tightly organized crew of thieves, and customers are ordered outside, but Blart is playing free video games and doesn't notice. Now he's locked inside, the only person who might be able to save Amy, his daughter, Maya (Raini Rodriguez), and their fellow prisoners. Yes, it's a hostage situation, with the mall surrounded by cops and a SWAT team. The plan of the thieves is sensationally stupid, guaranteed to call attention to their scheme, easy to thwart, possibly inspired by watching "Dog Day Afternoon" while drunk.

Everything is a sitcom until Officer Blart goes into action, in an astonishingly inventive cat-and-mouse chase past myriad product placements, all of which find uses. The movie even discovers a new angle on the old hiding-in-the-ventilation-shaft routine.

Paul Blart emerges as a hero, and something else: Kevin James illustrates how lighting and camera angles can affect our perception of an actor. In the early scenes, he's a fat schlub, but after he goes into action, the camera lowers subtly, the lighting changes, and suddenly he's a good-looking action hero, ready for business. He demonstrates what fat men have been secretly believed for a long time. Should Daniel Craig someday retire, I am supporting Kevin James for the next James Bond.

Advertisement

Popular Blog Posts

The Most Unforgettable Episodes of The Twilight Zone

Jessica Ritchey on the episodes of The Twilight Zone that she thinks about the most.

Who do you read? Good Roger, or Bad Roger?

This message came to me from a reader named Peter Svensland. He and a fr...

Netflix's The Umbrella Academy a Not-So-Super Fusion of X-Men and Watchmen

A review of Netflix's new superhero series, The Umbrella Academy.

A Reappraisal of Oliver Stone's "Alexander: The Ultimate Cut"

On the eve of its 10th anniversary, a new version of Oliver Stone's Alexander on Blu-ray demands a reappraisal.

Reveal Comments
comments powered by Disqus