A frustratingly not-terrible action thriller.
"Kindergarten Cop" is made up out of parts that shouldn't fit, but somehow they do, making a slick entertainment out of the improbable, the impossible, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. He plays a cop who finds himself teaching kindergarten, as part of an undercover effort to locate a little boy and his mother. There is no way that Schwarzenegger can plausibly teach class, but that doesn't prevent him from finding warm-hearted possibilities in the role - and it doesn't get in the way of several big laughs, either.
The movie opens with Schwarzenegger and his cop partner (Pamela Reed) on the trail of a vicious swine of a drug dealer and mama's boy, played with smarmy conviction by Richard Tyson. Tyson and his mother (Carroll Baker) are eager to discover the whereabouts of his ex-wife and their son. So is Schwarzenegger, because he dreams of nailing this creep, and also because he believes that the ex-wife may have $3 million of Tyson's drug earnings.
The trail leads to a storybook town in the Pacific Northwest, where Schwarzenegger and Reed believe the little boy is attending kindergarten. Reed used to be a schoolteacher, and so they convince the local school authorities to let her teach the kindergarten class - hoping to pick up clues even though the little boy and his mother have changed their names. Then Reed gets food poisoning, and it's up to Schwarzenegger to face the screaming hordes of 5-year-olds.