xXx: Return of Xander Cage
The last forty minutes of the movie do come together in a pretty diverting way.
"The Adventures of Ford Fairlane" is a movie about a hero I didn't like, chasing villains I didn't hate, in a plot I didn't understand. It is also loud, ugly and mean-spirited. That makes it the ideal vehicle for Andrew Dice Clay, a comedian whose humor is based upon hating those not in the room for the entertainment of those present.
The story involves Clay as a "rock and roll detective" whose beat is the music business and whose name and image come from one of those 1962 Fords with the retractable hardtops. He has an office up on Sunset Boulevard, and roams the nightclubs and rock concerts in search of clients, suspects and action. He gets a lot of action; one of the motifs of the movie is how he gobbles up women, usually two at a time, and spits them out the next morning.
True to the stereotyped movie private eyes he's inspired by, Ford Fairlane has a faithful Girl Friday (Lauren Holly) who waits patiently in the office, taking phone calls and telling lies. He also has the ability, common to so many movie detectives, of acting as the narrator, and so we hear his weathered voice on the soundtrack, describing with appropriate cynicism the dog-eared world he inhabits.
The movie begins with the spectacular onstage death of a heavy-metal singer, and Fairlane, investigating the case, gets drawn into a plot involving Wayne Newton as a corrupt music executive; Morris Day (funny in "Purple Rain," but muted here) as a record producer, and Maddie Corman as the bubblegum-blowing teenager whose abduction concerns her dad (Gilbert Gottfried), a shock-jock whose on-the-air murder sounds at first like just another one of his shticks.