xXx: Return of Xander Cage
The last forty minutes of the movie do come together in a pretty diverting way.
"Adam & Steve" exerts a strange fascination with its balancing act between scenes that work and others so clunky that, I dunno, is it possible to be this awkward by accident? There is an underlying story here, and some comic ideas, that in the hands of a better director (or more ruthless editor) could have become an entertaining romantic comedy. But the couple in love is forced to enact so many directorial conceits that the movie trips over itself. The director, Craig Chester, is also the co-star; as an actor, he has the wrong director.
Chester stars as Adam Bernstein, first seen in the 1980s with best pal Rhonda (Parker Posey) dressed as Goths and entering a gay disco on Glitter Night, the wrong night for them. Adam makes eye contact with a dancer named Steve (Malcolm Gets), and it's love at first sight, but "We don't dance," they explain. "We're Goths. We're dead." Not too dead for Steve to give Adam his first hit of cocaine, which makes him instantly addicted. The coke is laced with baby laxative, leading to a scene in which so many bodily wastes and fluids are ejected or vomited that a serious plot miscalculation is involved, evoking such a strong eee-uuu! reflex that it takes the audience five minutes and a "17 Years Later" subtitle to get back on track.
Adam and Steve meet again in their late 30s, neither one remembering their first meeting (or perhaps much else of the late 1980s). Adam is clean and sober now, a pet lover who accidentally stabs his dog while slicing sausage, and takes him to a human Emergency Room, where Steve, a psychiatrist who "trained as a veterinarian" (does that make him a pet psychiatrist?) treats the wound. For the two men, it's love at second sight.
Their romance develops despite the usual plot convenience (fear of commitment), but there's a crisis when Steve realizes who Adam is, and flees rather than confess he made the deposit on Adam's rug 17 years ago. Will they reconcile? Can Rhonda and Steve's straight roommate, Michael (Chris Kattan), be the go-betweens? Before we can learn the answer to that question, we get a scene both bizarre and weirdly funny.