This is why I sometimes love Twitter. Wednesday afternoon I stumbled upon some funny tweets with the hashtag #geriatricnoir, which was actually “trending” for a bit, thanks to contributing comedians, critics and movie lovers. Here are some of my favorites from this fleeting moment in tweeting, including some of my own:
@pattonoswalt The Big Nap #geriatricnoir
@DelilahSDawson The Postman Rang Nine Times Before I Heard It #geriatricnoir
@kriscollins The Talented Mr. Brimley #geriatricnoir
@pattonoswalt Death Wore Depends #geriatricnoir
@sfcaadam Chinamentown #geriatricnoir
@RockabillyJa The Glass Hip #geriatricnoir
@DrMadoror The Postman Always Rings Right in the Middle of Murder, She Wrote #geriatricnoir
@Ugaries Dial M for what are all these buttons? #geriatricnoir
@jondaly Vertigo #geriatricnoir
@brofromanother The Big Heating Pad #geriatricnoir
@j_christley Pinochle in the Streets #geriatricnoir
@j_christley The Wrong Pan #geriatricnoir
@jeeemerson They Live By Nightlight #geriatricnoir
@jessehawken After Matlock, My Sweet #geriatricnoir
@brofromanother I’m a Fallen Angel and I Can’t Get Up #geriatricnoir
@brofromanother He Used a Walker By Night #geriatricnoir
@jeeemerson Hiccup on South Street #geriatricnoir
@Nicolucci1899 Little Caesar Salad (And Can I Take the Rolls Home With Me?) #geriatricnoir
@j_christley In a Lonely Place #geriatricnoir #seewhatididthere #oldpeoplearelonely
@Benschwartzy They Can’t Drive By Night #geriatricnoir
@paulcibis White Heat (but it’s a dry heat) #geriatricnoir
@jeeemerson Where the Curb Cut Ends #geriatricnoir
@genegeorge The Big Sleep Apnea #geriatricnoir
@wordhole Pick-Up My Prescription on South Street #geriatricnoir
@ExtAngel The File on Thelma Ritter #geriatricnoir
@ExtAngel I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up on South Street #geriatricnoir
@robcorddry The Maltese Vacation We Took in ’81 with Shirley, Bob, Beverly and… Wait, was Beverly there? Everyone I know is dead. #geriatricnoir
@ChrisRRegan Sorry, Wrong Number. But I’ll Be Happy To Give You My Credit Card Info #geriatricnoir
@Andy_Richter The Postman Always Seems to be a Mexican These Days #geriatricnoir
@zhandlen Pickup On South Oh My God, There Goes My Back #geriatricnoir
@T_FUTURIST They Have Such Small Portions at the House of Bamboo #geriatricnoir
@mattsinger Se7enty #geriatricnoir
@tnyfrontrow To Have and Not Remember Where I Put It #geriatricnoir
@TonyDayoub Lost on a Highway #geriatricnoir
@ChrisWillman I Wake Up Kvetching #geriatricnoir
@ChrisWillman The Big Typeface #geriatricnoir
@CrazyHorse2012 Dial M for Matlock #geriatricnoir
@ian_okc Strangers On A Train (Don’t Like It When I Fill My Depends)
@ChrisWillman On Dangerous Linoleum #geriatricnoir
@jeeemerson The Strange Dentures of Martha Raye #geriatricnoir
@jeeemerson Gum Crazy #geriatricnoir
@jeeemerson Rash by Night #geriatricnoir
@Jinjerman Blood Sample #geriatricnoir
@jeeemerson The Woman in the Widow #geriatricnoir (I’d actually like to see this movie)
@LouLumenick Murder, My Feet #geriatricnoir
@j_christley The Big Chemo #geriatricnoir
@jeeemerson Murder By Co-Pay #geriatricnoir
@jeeemerson Out of the Pravastatin #geriatricnoir
@LouLumenick The Woman in the Window Should Close the Blinds #geriatricnoir
@jeeemerson Night and the Setee #geriatricnoir
@jgonick Strangers On A Train (and Other People I Like Talking To) #geriatricnoir
@jeeemerson My E-mail Always Dings Twice and It Scares Me #geriatricnoir
@jeeemerson Shoot the Player Piano #geriatricnoir
@jeeemerson While the City Sleeps I Have This Terrible Insomnia #geriatricnoir
@j_christley Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye, Pretty Much #geriatricnoir
… And then there was a short run of #geriatricgodard:
@T_FUTURIST Film SocialSecurity #geriatricgodard
@jeeemerson Out of Breath #geriatricgodard
@LCosgrove Wind From the East Just Blew a Bunch of Leaves Onto My Lawn #geriatricgodard
@jeeemerson La Chinoise Buffet #geriatricgodard
@T_FUTURIST Alzheimerville #geriatricgodard
@lokar20 Waistband of Outsiders #geriatricgodard
@jeeemerson Numéro deux and I mean now! #geriatricgodard
@paperlung Pierrot Le Vieux #geriatricgodard
@justinbhorton That’s not red, it’s blood! #geriatricgodard
@NGRLUK Tout Va Bien, A Part Mon Arthrite #geriatricgodard
@jeeemerson 2 or 3 Things I Forgot About… What? #geriatricgodard
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¹ I’m 53 going on death, so I feel I’m entitled to laugh at my fate.