A frustratingly not-terrible action thriller.
‘The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard” is a cheerfully energetically and very vulgar comedy. If you’re okay with that, you may be okay with this film, which contains a lot of laughs and has studied Political Correctness only enough to make a list of groups to offend. It takes place after a failing car dealer calls in a hired gun and his team to move goods off the lot over the Fourth of July.
The hot shot is Don Ready (Jeremy Piven), a hard charger who lives on the road and exists only to close deals. On his team: Babs (Kathryn Hahn), a lustful slut; Jibby (Ving Rhames), a sweet man who has never been in love; and Brent (David Koechner), who does not respond well when the failing auto dealer caresses his thigh.
They walk into a seething hotbed of problems in the small town dealership of Ben Selleck (James Brolin). Let’s see. His son Brent is 10 years old but because of a hormonal problem looks 30. His daughter Ivy (Jordana Spiro) is engaged to the air-headed son (Ed Helms) of his hated rival (Alan Thicke). His sales team includes Dick Lewiston (Charles Napier), who swears at customers and goes after them with a baseball bat, and Teddy Dang (Ken Jeong), a Korean-American who is assaulted by Dick, who blames him for Pearl Harbor.
Romantic entanglements and personal crises spring up overnight, including Don Ready’s conviction that he has met the son he fathered with the third runner-up on the local beauty contest 23 years earlier. Babs becomes infatuated by the fully grown, lightly bearded 10-year-old. Jibby experiences love for the first time. Ben pursues the hostile Brent. Flashbacks involve an orgy on an airplane and the tragic death of Don’s best friend (an uncredited Will Ferrell).