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Ballad of Narayama

"The Ballad of Narayama" is a Japanese film of great beauty and elegant artifice, telling a story of startling cruelty. What a space it opens…

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Hashtag Confidential: #geriatricnoir

This is why I sometimes love Twitter. Wednesday afternoon I stumbled upon some funny tweets with the hashtag #geriatricnoir, which was actually "trending" for a bit, thanks to contributing comedians, critics and movie lovers. Here are some of my favorites from this fleeting moment in tweeting, including some of my own:

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@pattonoswalt The Big Nap #geriatricnoir

@DelilahSDawson The Postman Rang Nine Times Before I Heard It #geriatricnoir

@kriscollins The Talented Mr. Brimley #geriatricnoir

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@pattonoswalt Death Wore Depends #geriatricnoir

@sfcaadam Chinamentown #geriatricnoir

@RockabillyJa The Glass Hip #geriatricnoir

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@DrMadoror The Postman Always Rings Right in the Middle of Murder, She Wrote #geriatricnoir

@Ugaries Dial M for what are all these buttons? #geriatricnoir

@jondaly Vertigo #geriatricnoir

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@brofromanother The Big Heating Pad #geriatricnoir

@j_christley Pinochle in the Streets #geriatricnoir

@j_christley The Wrong Pan #geriatricnoir

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@jeeemerson They Live By Nightlight #geriatricnoir

@jessehawken After Matlock, My Sweet #geriatricnoir

@brofromanother I'm a Fallen Angel and I Can't Get Up #geriatricnoir

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@brofromanother He Used a Walker By Night #geriatricnoir

@jeeemerson Hiccup on South Street #geriatricnoir

@Nicolucci1899 Little Caesar Salad (And Can I Take the Rolls Home With Me?) #geriatricnoir

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@j_christley In a Lonely Place #geriatricnoir #seewhatididthere #oldpeoplearelonely

@Benschwartzy They Can't Drive By Night #geriatricnoir

@paulcibis White Heat (but it's a dry heat) #geriatricnoir

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@jeeemerson Where the Curb Cut Ends #geriatricnoir

@genegeorge The Big Sleep Apnea #geriatricnoir

@wordhole Pick-Up My Prescription on South Street #geriatricnoir

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@ExtAngel The File on Thelma Ritter #geriatricnoir

@ExtAngel I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up on South Street #geriatricnoir

@robcorddry The Maltese Vacation We Took in '81 with Shirley, Bob, Beverly and... Wait, was Beverly there? Everyone I know is dead. #geriatricnoir

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@ChrisRRegan Sorry, Wrong Number. But I'll Be Happy To Give You My Credit Card Info #geriatricnoir

@Andy_Richter The Postman Always Seems to be a Mexican These Days #geriatricnoir

@zhandlen Pickup On South Oh My God, There Goes My Back #geriatricnoir

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@T_FUTURIST They Have Such Small Portions at the House of Bamboo #geriatricnoir

@mattsinger Se7enty #geriatricnoir

@tnyfrontrow To Have and Not Remember Where I Put It #geriatricnoir

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@TonyDayoub Lost on a Highway #geriatricnoir

@ChrisWillman I Wake Up Kvetching #geriatricnoir

@ChrisWillman The Big Typeface #geriatricnoir

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@CrazyHorse2012 Dial M for Matlock #geriatricnoir

@ian_okc Strangers On A Train (Don't Like It When I Fill My Depends)

@ChrisWillman On Dangerous Linoleum #geriatricnoir

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@jeeemerson The Strange Dentures of Martha Raye #geriatricnoir

@jeeemerson Gum Crazy #geriatricnoir

@jeeemerson Rash by Night #geriatricnoir

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@Jinjerman Blood Sample #geriatricnoir

@jeeemerson The Woman in the Widow #geriatricnoir (I'd actually like to see this movie)

@LouLumenick Murder, My Feet #geriatricnoir

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@j_christley The Big Chemo #geriatricnoir

@jeeemerson Murder By Co-Pay #geriatricnoir

@jeeemerson Out of the Pravastatin #geriatricnoir

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@LouLumenick The Woman in the Window Should Close the Blinds #geriatricnoir

@jeeemerson Night and the Setee #geriatricnoir

@jgonick Strangers On A Train (and Other People I Like Talking To) #geriatricnoir

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@jeeemerson My E-mail Always Dings Twice and It Scares Me #geriatricnoir

@jeeemerson Shoot the Player Piano #geriatricnoir

@jeeemerson While the City Sleeps I Have This Terrible Insomnia #geriatricnoir

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@j_christley Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye, Pretty Much #geriatricnoir

... And then there was a short run of #geriatricgodard:

@T_FUTURIST Film SocialSecurity #geriatricgodard

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@jeeemerson Out of Breath #geriatricgodard

@LCosgrove Wind From the East Just Blew a Bunch of Leaves Onto My Lawn #geriatricgodard

@jeeemerson La Chinoise Buffet #geriatricgodard

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@T_FUTURIST Alzheimerville #geriatricgodard

@lokar20 Waistband of Outsiders #geriatricgodard

@jeeemerson Numéro deux and I mean now! #geriatricgodard

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@paperlung Pierrot Le Vieux #geriatricgodard

@justinbhorton That's not red, it's blood! #geriatricgodard

@NGRLUK Tout Va Bien, A Part Mon Arthrite #geriatricgodard

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@jeeemerson 2 or 3 Things I Forgot About... What? #geriatricgodard

- - - - -

¹ I'm 53 going on death, so I feel I'm entitled to laugh at my fate.

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