This film could have been titled “There Will Be Beef.”
"Jack Frost" is the kind of movie that makes you want to take the temperature, if not feel for the pulse, of the filmmakers. What possessed anyone to think this was a plausible idea for a movie? It's a bad film, yes, but that's not the real problem. "Jack Frost" could have been co-directed by Orson Welles and Steven Spielberg and still be unwatchable, because of that damned snowman.
The snowman gave me the creeps. Never have I disliked a movie character more. They say state-of-the-art special effects can create the illusion of anything on the screen, and now we have proof: It's possible for the Jim Henson folks and Industrial Light and Magic to put their heads together and come up with the most repulsive single creature in the history of special effects, and I am not forgetting the Chucky doll or the desert intestine from "Star Wars." To see the snowman is to dislike the snowman. It doesn't look like a snowman, anyway. It looks like a cheap snowman suit. When it moves, it doesn't exactly glide--it walks, but without feet, like it's creeping on its torso. It has anorexic tree limbs for arms, which spin through 360 degrees when it's throwing snowballs. It has a big, wide mouth that moves as if masticating Gummi Bears. And it's this kid's dad.
Yes, little Charlie (Joseph Cross) has been without a father for a year, since his dad (Michael Keaton) was killed--on Christmas Day, of course. A year later, Charlie plays his father's magic harmonica ("If you ever need me ... ") and his father turns up as the snowman.
Think about that. It is an astounding fact. The snowman on Charlie's front lawn is a living, moving creature inhabited by the personality of his father. It is a reflection of the lame-brained screenplay that despite having a sentient snowman, the movie casts about for plot fillers, including a school bully, a chase scene, snowball fights, a hockey team, an old family friend to talk to Mom--you know, stuff to keep up the interest between those boring scenes when the snowman is TALKING.
This message came to me from a reader named Peter Svensland. He and a fr...
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