Office Christmas Party
Another reminder that allowing your cast to madly improvise instead of actually providing a coherent script with a scintilla of inherent logic often leads to…
To paraphrase the great Max von Sydow in "Hannah and Her Sisters", if Bela Lugosi came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.
Just as The Twilight Saga—which willfully warped vampire lore into a soap-operatic stew of undead adolescent desire—is finally fading into a misty crimson-stained memory of musclebound werewolf torsos and pale Byronic bloodsuckers, along comes "Vampire Academy".
Similarly based on a popular series of young-adult fiction and aimed primarily at impressionable girls in the throes of pubescence, the private high-school fantasy largely distinguishes itself from its predecessor in its tone. Whereas the Twilight films could be unintentionally funny with moments of unabashedly morose melodrama, "Vampire Academy" intends to be funny by having characters utter such cornball phrases as "Queen bee? More like queen b-otch," and "Sweet sassy molassy!" Oh, the hilarity when someone is described as being "a few corpuscles shy of an artery." Then there are the toothless vampire puns: "The stakes are high—get it?"
Yes, we do and we wish we didn't.