In Memoriam 1942 – 2013 “Roger Ebert loved movies.”

RogerEbert.com

Thumb_6svpck54r9k0mz9xcfzswrxcin

Winter Sleep

The running time of his new picture Winter Sleep, three hours and change, suggests weight, but at it happens, this movie struck me as both…

Thumb_oax1ohn3ltgrf3vlh5ff28w0yjn

Mr. Turner

Filmmaker Mike Leigh's biography of the landscape painter J.M.W. Turner is what critics call "austere"—which means it's slow and grim and deliberately hard to love—yet…

Other Reviews
Review Archives
Thumb_xbepftvyieurxopaxyzgtgtkwgw

Ballad of Narayama

"The Ballad of Narayama" is a Japanese film of great beauty and elegant artifice, telling a story of startling cruelty. What a space it opens…

Thumb_jrluxpegcv11ostmz1fqha1bkxq

Monsieur Hire

Patrice Leconte's "Monsieur Hire" is a tragedy about loneliness and erotomania, told about two solitary people who have nothing else in common. It involves a…

Other Reviews
Great Movie Archives
Other Articles
Channel Archives

Reviews

Million Dollar Mystery

  |  

I've gone to a lot of movies that I could have used a Glad bag for, but "Million Dollar Mystery" is the first one to admit it. This is sort of a movie and sort of a contest. In the movie, an assorted cast of the usual gang of idiots goes looking for millions of dollars. Then the audience is informed that an additional million bucks is hidden somewhere out there in America.

Where? A TV ad campaign has Tom Bosley informing viewers that they can find clues in specially marked boxes of Glad bags. As nearly as I could ascertain, it is not absolutely necessary to see this movie in order to find the million dollars. All the clues are in the Glad boxes. That is a good thing, because the search may easily last longer than the movie's run.

In the movie, a man staggers into a crummy roadside diner and dies, leaving behind the necessary clues to begin the chase. We meet the cast members, including a dippy married couple, a would-be singer and his sexy backup trio, some nerdy honeymooners, etc., and they race around America looking for the money.

Most of the clues have to do with bridges. This allows the producers to sneak in all sorts of commercial plugs. A million bucks, for example, is hidden inside London Bridge - the one that was transported brick-by-brick to Arizona. In case we miss the point, there is even a giant shot of a sign reading "London Bridge Resort."

Other commercial plugs are too numerous to mention. I have no idea where the money is hidden. The movie was produced by Dino De Laurentiis, and perhaps he has a check for a million dollars hidden in his bridgework.

If this movie is a hit, I've got an idea for the next one: De Laurentiis could offer viewers their choice of an interest-free loan for the ticket price, or an instant rebate.

Popular Blog Posts

Who do you read? Good Roger, or Bad Roger?

This message came to me from a reader named Peter Svensland. He and a fr...

The Ten Best Films of 2014

The ten best films of 2014, as chosen by the film critics of RogerEbert.com.

10 Underrated Female Performances of 2014

Ten underrated female performances from 2014 worthy of Oscar consideration.

More on That Later: The Truth About “Serial”

Some thoughts on the hit podcast "Serial".

Reveal Comments
comments powered by Disqus