The Bye Bye Man
The Bye Bye Man is the kind of film that is so boring and bereft of anything of possible interest that it becomes infuriating.
The old hotel porter gulps when he lays eyes on the Countess Bathory, and his Adam's apple bobs up and down like an organic yo-yo. "But...I remember that you stayed here 40 years ago, when I was a bellboy," he says. "And you have not changed - not in all those years!"
Indeed, she has not. She hasn't bought any new clothes, either. She wears slinky 1930s dresses, and high boots, and a veil over her face, and a vinyl rain cape, and enough feathers to turn an ostrich's stomach. We find out that she has a famous ancestor who remained eternally young by bathing in the blood of 800 virgins. But the current countess has a problem, because virgins are getting so hard to find these days. Right away, we figure the young honeymoon couple at the hotel hasn't got a chance.
The newlyweds are a little weird, anyway. What brought them to this drafty old resort hotel, out of season and with the winter rains blowing in through the storm-tossed lace curtains? Why did the countess and her traveling companion, the mysteriously red-lipped Ilona, take the suite next door? Why is that man on a bicycle following them wherever they go?
Most of all, will the young man's mother approve of his marriage with the innocent young Valerie? Probably not. When Valerie finally talks Stefan into telephoning his mother at the manor, mother turns out to be a man who is eating purple orchids for lunch. I mean, talk about bringing your girl home to meet Mom, huh? Meanwhile, strange things are happening.